it’s been ten years

This month is my ten year blogiversary. Over 800 posts! I started this to write about our engagement, and then our wedding, and then our first year as newlyweds living in the basement apartment in Sandy. I loved that tiny apartment…except for the freakishly large spiders. It was a perfect little place to make our first home together.

Then we had sweetie pie little Isabelle, and I wrote about her. She was a hard baby, bless her tiny soul. I had so much fun preparing for her arrival and making a little nursery for her. After she was born, Jazz got a job here in Redding and I wrote about our move. I wrote letters to Isabelle every month for a year or so and recorded all of her “firsts.”. The transition to being a mother was interesting for me, so I wrote about that. I wrote about my spare time, tried to find some crafts and hobbies. We bought our first house. I wrote about that too. Looking at those photos the house looks so empty, we hardly had anything to fill it with! I wrote about a disney trip… the first of many to come.

Isabelle became a hilarious and spunky toddler and I wrote about that. I took lots of pictures of her too, and posted them for our friends and family. I wrote down some favorite recipes. A pair of my favorite shoes. Some bad haircuts. A trip to Utah, a vacation to Hawaii. Weddings for both of my sisters. I wrote about working hard to lose (almost) all the baby weight from Isabelle.

And then I was pregnant with Lincoln! And I wrote about my pregnancy with him and my desire for a VBAC. I blogged about days at the lake and afternoons and my parents’ pool with Isabelle. Disneyland again. Isabelle’s first haircut. Trendy bangs for me which turned into just regular real life bangs. Birthdays, Halloween, Christmas and then welcoming baby Linc! Oh, he was such a good baby and his birth was so special. And then I wrote about our adventures with two! Recorded all of Lincoln’s milestones, took a million pictures of both of our kids.  Disneyland again, when Linc was only eight weeks. Easter, Margo’s Birth. We took a big family vacation that year, one I will remember forever…it was good for my soul. I also blogged about our little house, and how I decorated Lincoln’s nursery. I wrote about ballet class and swim lessons and cute things Isabelle said. She used to her call her forehead “her wainbow.” Linc started crawling, then walking, then talking. I lost 50 pounds.

I wrote about our trip to Utah, about Lincoln turning one. I wrote about all our play times with our cousins. Family photos. I wrote about being a mother, about keeping house, about being tired. Disneyland again, splash mountain at midnight. Sweetie pie Isabelle broke her elbow and I posted when that happened. Another Easter egg hunt, more swim lessons, more birthdays. We took a trip to Hawaii and I posted a million pictures to remember our fun memories there. Sandy baby bums and pink cheeks. I watched Isabelle and Lincoln become best friends, and I wrote about that. We threw a big baby shower for Sabrina- book themed- maybe the best party I’ve ever done. That was a fun one, Sabs.

Lincoln turned into a hard toddler, lots of tantrums. The most stubborn child ever. So I wrote about that. We bought a van. And then I was pregnant with Max! I documented my pregnancy with him, and I’m so glad I did. We had a big princess party for Isabelle, and I put that on the blog. Quinn was born and I took a solo trip away from my kids for the first time. Another trip to Disneyland. Yikes. More family photos, the ones that we had to reschedule because Lincoln was crying too hard to function. Christmas with all of the cousins. Sprinkly cookies and dress ups and reading books with Grandma.

I wrote about the Disney vacation where we lost Lincoln for a few minutes. Morgan missed that trip because Margo had pneumonia so we went back a month later. Then SURPRISE we learned the baby girl we were expecting was actually a baby boy and had boy parts. Our sweet little Max was born, lived for an hour, and died. I wrote so much about him, and the blog turned into therapy for me. I wrote a lot about grief and it helped me so much. Lots of people reached out to us and connected through the blog and it saved me. We picked cemetery plots and ordered a headstone. We learned how to live without Max, and I documented that too. I lost 60 pounds. We learned a lot of tender mercies surrounding Maxwell’s life, and I recorded those on the blog.

Our family somehow kept going, Isabelle started TK and Lincoln started preschool. We went to Disneyland again, and I held newborn Archer without feeling like my soul was going to die. Isabelle started losing her teeth. Lincoln made me feel like I was losing my mind. I blogged about potty training Lincoln, about Isabelle’s unicorn party, about our Halloween festivities. I was pregnant again, and I wrote about that and how nervous we were after losing Max. We made it through the holidays, took a trip to Utah, and lost that pregnancy at 14 weeks. I chopped my hair off for a desperate change. Linc and I visited Arizona, and he sealed the deal as Best Friends with Margo. Linc got a bunch of freckles and I documented that too. Disney again, to heal our hearts. We celebrated Maxwell’s birthday with balloons, cake, and some tears.

We visited Maui. Quinn got in the toilet, that was fun. The kids had a horse lesson, I wrote about that. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day too. I recorded our summer in the sun, and all the time we spent at the pool.  I was pregnant again. Isabelle started violin lessons! My dad built a splash pad in his back yard. My mom and I took the kids to Monterey, one of my favorite places to visit. Then I lost another pregnancy, and it was another girl. I wrote about that, and how sad we were, and how I felt like I would never have another baby again.  I took the kids to phoenix to visit the girls and meet new baby Grayson.  Isabelle started Kindergarten like a pro. We planned a big trip to Disneyland with the whole family and I forced everyone to wear matching shirts.

Fall came and we threw Isabelle a mermaid party, hit 18 months without Max, had Halloween and the holidays too. I started crossfit. Isabelle learned all the Articles of Faith, and I wrote about that. Ellie came to visit, and I wrote about how much my kids love her and want her to move in with us. Then we accidentally bought a dog. Katie made my dreams come true and took our family pictures in the forest, and I posted those on the blog. Dance recital, a magical Christmas, new years, another positive pregnancy test. I posted about Lincoln’s car themed birthday. Another trip to Disney, this time with my sisters and my mom. One of my favorite trips to date! And then we brought our ridiculous dog home, and I wrote a lot about that.

I stayed busy with my kids, praying daily for the baby that was growing, hoping he or she would come home with us. I played in the Shasta symphony and that helped keep my mind off of things. Max’s second birthday came and went, and I wrote some things on the blog about how I was feeling. Writing was and is good therapy for me when I can’t keep everything in my brain anymore. We had a big Easter egg hunt, and I posted those pictures. Then came our big appointment day at UC Davis to check the baby’s heart and everything went well, it was such a relief. School got out, Lincoln really learned how to swim, and Isabelle did junior swim team. I wrote about being hugely pregnant in the summer heat. We successfully grew a tiny watermelon, that made it on the blog too.

And then we had Thatcher. And he was small and soft and froggy and SO HEALING to my heart, so I wrote about that. A lot about that actually. And his delivery day which will go down as one of the most special and perfect days of my life. Little pieces of my heart were stitched up in that OR. Lots of posts about his first weeks and months and our adjustment to having a baby in the home.

I wrote about our Halloween with a ninja turtle and a ghostbuster. About Lincoln’s little soccer team and Isabelle’s dance recital. I wrote about Thatcher’s blessing day too. We celebrated another Christmas in our little house and I wrote about how hard it is to see the holidays go by without Max. Thatcher turned three months then four, and now five. He rolled over and grew two teeth and charmed us all with his easy going and happy personality.

And now we are here…Thousands of pictures, hundred of pages of our lives together. I had no idea what I was getting into when Jazz secretly started this blog in our names 10 years ago. It’s a record our of lives, of our family history, and I really need to get it printed into a book for us to keep! I have been posting less and less, mostly because I can’t find the time and I value sleep above all. But that’s okay, I’m going to keep posting. I love this family of mine and just glancing through this blog I am SO blessed and SO thankful for the things I have been given. What a happy life I have!

So for my sake, and for the three people that still read this, it’s catch up time. On to Lincoln’s birthday, a big trip to Disneyland, Thatcher’s five month stats.. slowly but surely I’ll get there.