Maxwell’s marker

On Thursday afternoon we got the call that Maxwell’s headstone and bench had been placed at his plot. It has been so delayed- months and months of waiting… the granite was stuck in customs for some time… I had no idea the color I selected was “special order.” My husband will say this is not surprising.

Anyway, Friday morning we went out in the rain and had donuts together. When we arrived, the gates weren’t open yet and we had to wait for the grounds keeper to come and unlock it.. I just sat in the car and put on Maxwell’s song and just cried. I miss him, and this seems so unfair and sad and sometimes I’m so surprised that this is my life, on a Friday morning, waiting to enter the cemetery to visit the grave of my child.

We agonized over the details of his marker. There were so few things that I was able to choose and provide for him and I felt like if this wasn’t just perfect it would be so disappointing for me and for Max.

When we pulled up, immediately I felt so relieved. The color was gorgeous, everything looked so sharp and how I imagined it. I tearfully got out of the car, and Lincoln immediately face planted into the mud. Any sort of sadness in my heart was replaced with laughter, Linc was covered in mud and he kept saying “COME WIPE ME.” He never quite recovered and spent most of the time in the car half naked.

This is the back and the bench that sits at the foot of his plot. We had several donations from friends and family, and everything we received went towards this bench. I will be sitting on this bench for maybe fifty years. It’s beautiful. We wanted to include the children on the back- Max is their brother and I know this has been hard for them too. Izzie found her name right away and was so pleased. The building on the front is the LDS Sacramento Temple, where Jazz and I were sealed together for eternity. Because of this, we know we will be with Maxwell again.

any future children can be added as well

Here we will sit and visit, bring donuts and picnics and gather with our family to honor and remember this little boy that changed our lives. We will bring our kids here and tell them about their brother that was too perfect to stay. The final item on our to-do list has been completed, and I’m so thankful that it turned out the way that we wanted it to. If it were a symbol of my love, I would have built Max a castle on his plot, a monumental skyscraper to declare to everyone just how special he is. Of course he didn’t need that, and his simple stone is a perfect reflection of his perfect little soul.