Had a little play date this morning with some of my mom friends. Between us, we have six children under the age of three. -each have one boy, one girl, so we are a pretty good mix. Their little babies are brand new and oh man if I don’t love snuggling a teeny baby all wrapped up like a burrito. How is my baby so big already? C’mon.
When Iz was a tiny babe, I joined an actual mom playgroup- like, every week at the same time kind of a thing. I thought it was going to be so awesome and bonding and hey we have kids! And it was kind of sort of weird slash horrible because of all the JUDGY that was happening. I mentioned I had a c-section with Isabelle and you would have thought I said I gave birth to an alien from the looks I received. No empathy, no understanding. Then just for fun I bottle fed Isabelle right in front of them and the NERVE of me to NOT be breast feeding her! They had no idea of our struggles or my efforts or the actual physical explanation why Isabelle had a hard time nursing. I left that play date feeling like a lousy new mom and an inadequate parent. I’m sure you can guess I never went back, just wasn’t my cup of tea. Sorry that I didn’t have my baby at home in a candle lit bathtub like you did, but everyone is different and there is no need for you to think you are better than me because our experiences are not the same.
I feel like there is this intense pressure to do everything right when you have a baby. So many choices, so many different ideas and methods and books you can read. Really, bottom line- we all do what works for us, whatever that may be. There is some serious trial and error involved, and I swear by the time I have our last baby I’ll know everything. HA. I have really found a little group of friends who are supportive of me regardless if the food I am feeding Linc is organic or not. It is nice to get together and talk to other grown up people about the things that constitute our daily lives, that is: poop, feeding, time outs and tantrums, husbands, new shoes, cooking dinner, losing weight, or whatever else we feel like talking about. We put our kids in a big room at someones house and just let them have at the wall of toys for a few hours, serve some pb and j’s and call it good. Always a nice part of my week.
|Isabelle, Ryder, Charlotte, Lincoln, Charlie, Ella|
|Mom stopped by to meet Ella and Ryder, was all too familiar for her…|
And of course, Isabelle loves her cousins. We watched the girls for a few hours a couple weeks ago and they could really play for hours. We sure do love living by (some of) our family.
PS If you are involved in a crappy judgy playgroup, get out and call me. We can be friends. Even if you had a c-section.
6 thoughts on “our little friends.”
what the heck kind of playgroup was that? Wow. Although, I will say, having just lived in Eugene, OR for three years has taught me a few things. For example, I didn't feel bad about breastfeeding my kid until they were like 5 years old, as did some of the other moms. Hah. So sorry you had an experience like that. Glad you found a good group of women to hang out with.
Correction–I didn't feel bad about NOT breastfeeding my kids til they were 5. Major correction. Haha! That was worse than auto type on my iphone.
Ok, I know I'm still a little post-partumy (read crazy hormonal lady) but this seriously made me cry. Mostly because I am so thankful for our wonderful group of friends! And because the pictures are just way too cute. You are an amazing mom!
I'm remembering a day that I went to play group and you were there, and I'm seriously hoping you didn't feel that judgy stuff from me! I only went back a few times because I'm like a C+ parent, at best, and I just felt a bit out of place. Now my baby is old and destroys stuff and could never be in your lovely house. Anyway, I'm so glad you found something that works for you. All those babies are beautiful. 🙂
Though I haven't seen you in action, I'm pretty sure you're an A parent, at worst. I have been to a playgroup a few times, and I always expect people to be judgy but they aren't. I just feel weird because I only ever know like, one other person there and the other moms usually just keep to themselves. Plus, the last time I was there I pulled out snacks for Clara and all the kids friggin' dog-piled on me and got all grabby. Oops.
I wish I lived in Redding and could join your playdates! I've got one girl, one boy and 2 c-sections! I fit right in! You want to talk judgy, move over here to Humboldt County…I've actually met a couple nice people but I can relate and have a hard time making real friends. Probably doesn't help that my husband is a cop and wants to run a background check on everyone I invite over…haha j/k. But not really. Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all thing and you are an awesome mom and your kids are thriving, so anyone who dissaproves can shove it, lol!