visiting the ent

It is apparent I am having a hard time finding the time/energy to blog. This is definitely my worst blogomonth in a long time.

Actually as I type this Lincoln is waking up and my time is probably fleeting but that’s okay. Having two kids is more time consuming than having just the one, that’s for sure. Linc is starting to be awake a lot more than he used to be. Totally awake, ready to play, wants to be entertained. Really super fun, but time consuming.

Me and my circus went to Davis yesterday for a check up appointment for Baby Linc. When he was first born, the pediatricians at the hospital were concerned with the state of his chin. I know, it sounds weird. Basically his bottom jaw is sort of tiny and small and they wanted to make sure it didn’t choke him (!) or cause feeding problems (!) or sleeping problems or whatever. I was drugged so I was like yeah sounds awesome whatever. So he sleeps on his side per their request.

We had an appointment in February which we missed, mostly because I could not bear to think of my nursing newborn, in the car, with my two year old, driving almost three hours to Davis for our 9 am appointment. We would basically have to leave at 4 am. Soooo not happening. Anyway, yesterday was our rescheduled appointment and mom went with me, obviously so I did not lose my sanity. And also because she is awesome.

Lincoln’s appointment was at 3:30 so we got there at 3:15 just like we were told to make sure we were registered/insurance given/ etc. Isabelle was asleep so mom stayed with her in the car and I took Linc up to be seen. At the front desk I asked about how long the wait was since I had to nurse my babe eventually and wanted to plan accordingly- she assured me it would be 15-30 minutes. Lincoln was going to be hungry at 4:15 and I thought by sure we would HAVE to be done by then so I could nurse in the comfort of the car before heading back up to Redding.

You guys. I was so wrong it wasn’t even funny.

I waited from 3:15 to 4:00 in the waiting room.

Then I waited from 4:-5:15 in the exam room.

Where I almost lost it. I’m not kidding I was thisclose to freaking out and wreaking havoc on that room and leaving in a big huff screaming obscenities. I had to nurse there, which usually isn’t a problem because Lincoln is a champ but I didn’t have any arms on the chair or a pillow or anything and if you are large chested lady, its kind of like trying to trying to shove a sack of flour into a baby’s mouth through a hole the size of a pea. Having some support is helpful. My dad called about 5:00 to see how the appointment went and I was all, “I DON’T KNOW DAD I AM STILL WAITING AND I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE.” The doctor was next door and heard every word. Not sure if it was a bad thing.

He finally came in and apologized to me but it was hard for me to hear him since my eyes had turned into dragon flames and were about to shoot burning knives at him.

Maybe the worst part of the experience is that I thought we were seeing a pediatric ENT. We were not. Just a regular ENT. So none of their equipment was set up for infants. He did his initial exam on Lincoln which was kind of ridiculous, literally pinched the fat on his arms and legs (through his clothes) to see if he was fat enough. He said he usually likes to see babies double their birth weight by 3 months and Linc just wasn’t quite there. (I always thought it was 4-6 months. And also, that would mean my niece should have been 19 pounds by 12 weeks old. I’m thinking not so much, but thankssss.)

He started telling me what causes certain physical aspects of our babies by discussing chromosomes to me and paused to say, “Well, I’m not sure what your level of education is so…” LIKE I’M STUPID. I told him that I have a Bachelor’s of Science and assured him I could keep up with his 8th grade explanation. I may be a woman, with a baby, in stretchy post partem clothes with sweat beading on the bridge of my nose but you are not allowed to judge me, old doctor man. I’m smart.

I was also concerned about his hoarse voice, and asked if I should be concerned when he cries and talks. “Oh he’s not talking yet, just babbling. Unless he is a genius!” NO KIDDING.

“Has anyone checked for a cleft palate?” Uh yeah we did that first thing, like when he was born.

“Have you had an ophthalmologist look at him? Do you have one in redding.” Ummm. yeah, his name is Mike Sumsion. he is THEE optho in town. Aaaand he’s my father. I’m gonna go now.

He couldn’t really give me any answers except that he wants to do a genetic screening and a check up when Lincoln is one year old. Took a couple of pictures of Lincoln’s head. It was a five minute appointment. When I left, the receptionist was gone because THEY WERE CLOSED FOR THE DAY. Deep breath deep breath deep breath.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate medicine and physicians and their time and knowledge. But if you have to schedule your last clinic appointment at 3:30 to be seen by 5 pm, you are doing something wrong. And I’m sorry but my time is valuable too! Not once did someone come in and tell me what the doctor’s status was, or that he was running late, or maybe that he was on a flight back from Mexico or something because two hours is a ridiculous amount of time to wait for five minutes with a man that I have about 30% confidence in.

When I came out, Mom and Isabelle were throwing pieces of paper over a heating grate on the ground to see how high they could fly. Bless them. I have the best mother in the whole world.

So, after driving for 2 1/2 hours and waiting ALMOST AS DANG LONG, with this doctor’s charming bedside manner and condescending tone, we will not be returning to the ENT clinic at Davis. Thank goodness for Cheesekcake Factory’s Adam’s Peanut Butter Ripple cheesecake, one of the greatest creations in our modern civilization.