Not my finest.

You should know I’m not proud of this story. It is embarrassing and lazy and really one of my lower moments… which is why of course I decided to share it.

The other night Jazz made a hot dog. Just a regular hot dog in the microwave- nothing special. He let me have the last tiny end bite so I didn’t get any gross cheese or relish. Of course after tasting such a delicious meat treat, I wanted one of my own. Jazz offered to make me one, and I accepted.

And I micro-managed from the couch.

“Make sure the bun doesn’t break when you open it!”

“I like my hot dog wrapped in paper towel when you cook it!”

“I like it cooked about 50 seconds!”

But, cmon people this is nothing new. My patient spouse cooked my food accordingly.

“ONLY ONE STRAIGHT LINE OF KETCHUP, PLEASE.”

Jazz brought me my hot dog. It looked like this.

This is approximately seven hundred times more ketchup than I would put on my hot dog. There is no straight line. Only a series of w’s and scribbles. NOT A STRAIGHT LINE.
“Jazz, this has so much ketchup on it. I can not eat all of this ketchup or I will die.”
I looked around on the side table for something to scrape 95% of the ketchup off of my precious hot dog. TV remote. Glass of water. Coaster. And then I spied it. A silica packet from one of Isabelle’s dress up purses that I found in the toy box earlier in the day.
Perfect! I used this tiny poison packet to scrape my dog until it looked like this:
And I ate my hot dog, while my husband stood by me apparently shocked at my laziness resourcefulness.

What we have learned:
     -I like my hot dog with one single line of ketchup. One.
     -I am very lazy.

     -A silica gel packet touched my food and I didn’t die.

4 thoughts on “Not my finest.

  1. You crack me up!!! Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  2. Haha. Totally made my day. Why can't men ever get it right?!?

    Like

  3. Yeah…those silica packets did you know it's just sand, like ground up and processed? Madilyn ate one once and I panicked and got on line…turns out it's no big deal…wierd

    Like

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