It’s tradition that for Valentine’s Day I usually make Jazz a love-themed treat. Our first Valentine’s Day was a big deal, we had only been dating a short time and I spent HOURS making and carefully frosting the most amazing almond sugar cookies. I’m pretty sure that’s when Jazz knew I was the one. This year since we are eating healthier, I wanted to make something that had a small portion size so I could give the rest away to friends and family (to make them fat.). Really I wanted to make a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and eat the whole thing within a 24 hour period, but I ultimately concluded that was a bad idea.
I decided on cake pops. Have you heard of them? They’ve been all over the blogosphere for awhile now- the creator writes a blog called Bakerella and basically she invented chocolate covered cake bites on a stick. Sounds amazing, right? She makes them sound so easy to make- then she fancies them up with themed designs.
Super cute, right? All images courtesy of Bakerella.com
Well I have this disease where I see something and think “oh, I can totally make that.” Sometimes it is true, most times it is not true. Anyway, I purchased the necessary supplies and sat down, prepared to make awesome cake pops. I was thinking something simple, maybe white balls with red heart shaped sprinkles. Good place to start. I scoured the internet determined to get all of the tips from cake pop-ers before me. I was ready.
You need: A cake mix, some frosting, some sticks, some chocolate. I’m so specific! I usually don’t use boxed frosting because I much prefer homemade but I didn’t want to ruin the recipe so I just went with it. Also, Safeway didn’t have candy melts, so I just grabbed some white chocolate. There is no time for a trip to Michael’s for silly candy melts when it is raining and your baby wants to take a nap.
Bake your cake as usual. Wait for it to cool. Wait! Then use a fork to crumble it all up in bits. Have a bite. It’s delicious. You did a great job.
Add about 3/4 of the jar of frosting until it is all moist and sticky. Use your patties to shape into perfect balls. Eat as you go.
Dip one end of the stick into the melted chocolate and slide each one about half way into the cake pop. So far so good! They look like mini confectionery soldiers all lined up and ready.
HERE IS THE PART WHERE I QUESTION MY ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING.
After you have let the sticks set for about a half hour, it’s time for dipping. Dipping LOOKS easy, but in fact is nearly impossible. I sat there dipping and tapping the excess chocolate off of the sticks FOREVER. The cake fell off the stick. The frosting fell of the stick. The sticks fell off their holder thing. And because we didn’t have any Styrofoam, beardy Jazz got trixy with an egg carton.
After 8 or 10 or 20 I gave up with the dipping and just decided to leave stick up for easy drying.
A cake casualty.
Cake pops! I had such high hopes for you! Why must you sucketh!?
Good news is they tasted fabulous. Bad news is they looked like misshapen mummy vomit. I do not like failing at things, especially in the kitchen, and if at first you don’t succeed, try try again. (right?) If you decide to make these, please know:
1. Spend the time finding stupid candy melts.
2. Make sure your garage has some Styrofoam laying around.
3. Set aside one year of your life to dip and tap sticks.
4. Quit. Don’t do it. Seriously.