12 Months

Dear Isabelle, on the anniversary of your birth-

We began counting your life in hours, then days and weeks, then months, and now we begin to count your life in years. One year has come and gone, but I feel like I have known you for forever. As I reflect on your first year in our family, I think of so many joyful memories, wonderful milestones, and a whole lot of sleepless nights. So many times I have had a special moment with you and thought -whoa. This is what my life is about. This is absolute perfection.

Sometimes I feel like your birth is slipping away from me, like I’m forgetting those first few moments in the hospital when you were wrapped in a blanket and handed to me. I held your tiny body close to mine, drank in your newborn skin, touched your soft hair, kissed your little cheeks. Now when I hold your body, you drape across my torso, your frame so much bigger and stronger than this time last year. You have learned so much! You sit and stand and walk on your own. You hold things so delicately, pick up lint and fluff on the floor- you carefully feed yourself finger food. You babble and talk, yell and scream and giggle and belly laugh. You are so smart- you remember games that we played weeks ago. You put toys in and out, over and under, up and down. You love books and pictures and puzzles. You held my phone up to your ear the other day, like you knew exactly what to do with it. It blew my mind.

This month your personality has exploded. You are so active and on the move, sometimes I look away for one minute and you have traveled into a totally different part of the house. Quick little baby! Your first steps were on September 8th and 9th- now you can cruise across the whole room without any help at all. Of course with your new skill, you have fallen a few times and hurt yourself a little bit. I feel so special when you reach for me looking for comfort- I’m your momma. Now you race around at my feet, and I love feeling your hands grabbing at my legs looking for support. Your little fingers cling to my pants as your gain your independence.

The seasons are changing from a hot summer into a cooler fall- autumn has come and the leaves are changing and falling to the ground. This change every year will always remind me of the time that we brought you home to us, right before the holidays to celebrate together. The smell of pumpkin pie and whip cream makes me think of our days in our Sandy apartment just the three of us. How I wish just for a moment I could go back to hold your tiny seven-pound body once more. This exploring, learning, on the go stage you are in is so much fun- you are becoming your own person and you need me less and less. I cherish our time together, I am so incredibly thankful that I am able to stay home and spend my time with you every single day. I wish all women could be as lucky as I am.

There is so much more to learn, so much more for me to teach you. Above all, I hope you will always have a firm testimony of Jesus Christ. Know that our Heavenly Father sent you to us here on earth, that He loves you, and that He has a plan for you. “Come little child and together we’ll learn, of His commandments that we may return Home to his presence to live in His light. Always, always, to walk in the light.”

I love you my child, my little Isabelle. What a wonderful year it has been.

Love, love, love you

Xoxoxo

Momma