We weren’t even married yet. Jazz was still living at his sisters, and I was still living in the death trap that is Provo. We wanted to set up the apartment as best we could, so that after the bliss of our sunshine filled honeymoon- we could return home to semi-pleasant space and spend less time cleaning out Jazz’s old crap. (Fact: I do not have old crap.)
We bought a beautiful shabby chic bed. To this day I am amazed Jazz went for a white antiqued bed. I thought for sure I would be sleeping on a bulky pine hot mess for at least the first five years of our marriage. I am convinced it was likely because I posses charm up the wazoo, my eyes can bat a thousand, and also probably because it was on uber clearance.
After googling which way the sheets actually were meant to go (hey don’t laugh. its a king size bed. I’m still not really sure, just that the tag goes in the bottom right corner), we successfully put the fitted sheet on. We got to the top sheet and both stopped.
I am notorious for hating the Top Sheet. Since I was a kid I have kicked it to the bottom of the bed. Neglected it. Spit on it and hated it. It is a pointless thin layer of nothingless with no purpose. My mother will quickly remind me that the Top Sheet serves to protect the duvet cover. Sorry Mom, all the duvet covers I know are washable and they have buttons and they don’t mind getting dirty. In fact, they kind of like being close to you. They prefer it even.
When I got to college, I tore free of the communistic sheet rule that I had been living under for so many years. I used my Top Sheet for tent making and harp moving and wrapping up fragile things. I never slept with it once.
And here I was, at a Top Sheet crossroads. What would my other half think about Top Sheet? Did he like the Top Sheet? Maybe it was his *gasp* favorite bed accessory? How would I live? I envisioned our bed having a half Top Sheet, me getting tangled in it, throwing a fit, sleeping on a couch. Oh, the problems a Top Sheet could cause.
“Uh, so do you like this one sheet?”
“Um, not really at all, it kind of gets in the way.”
Ladies and gentlemen. That is reason number 4, 512 why I know that Jazzy John Shaw Sorensen is my perfect match and soul mate. He hates Top Sheet as much as I do. And yes, that does mean we have to take the duvet off twice as often to wash it. But, it also means that I have my partner there to help me put it back on.