It’s been two weeks today but it feels so much longer. The hospital called this morning to see how mom and baby were doing and I had to tell them that our baby was the full term baby who passed unexpectedly. Then she knew exactly who I was. The poor woman felt horrible, though probably not as horrible as I felt.
There are babies everywhere. Literally six people I know have had their babies in the last three weeks and it is such a happy thing- I still love babies, all the babies- but it is just a little painful to see. I ache for my own baby.
Physically I am recovering well. It has been my fastest recovery by far- probably because I am able to sleep through the night most nights- and also I think my OB just did a great job with my surgery. Stitches are so much more comfortable than staples, I had no idea. Plus this is my first delivery without an exhaustive labor preceding it.
I’m tired. I cry a lot. I cry until I don’t think I have any tears left and my face hurts and I can’t open my eyes anymore.
Bless my sweet husband. For taking the kids to preschool and turtle bay and for picking up toys and making lunch. For letting me cry on him and then making me laugh a few minutes later. For keeping the lawn mowed and the mail brought in everyday. For being sad with me. This is so sad.
Thank you for your prayers and comments and messages, they mean so much to us.
|This is one of my favorite pictures from the few minutes we spent together. He was so perfect.|