my season

I’ve been thinking a lot about this time in my life and how it sort of defines who I am right now. And that’s okay.

Like, I went out with some lady friends a few weeks ago- these women are non-judgey and really fun and we get along well. A few of us are married, mostly single, a few with kids, without kids, a single mom, a working mom, etc. All different. So we did the “what are you up to these days” conversation and I had surprisingly little to say. I mean, I’m not working outside of the home. I don’t have any large projects happening except maybe just trying to raise the next generation to be decent human beings. 

What have I been up to? Well, I had a baby last year so that has kept me preeetttty busy with all the feeding and changing and you know, keeping him alive and also I magic erased my entire tile floor last week! So that felt good. Trimmed my bangs up. Oh, and we thatched our lawn! I mean holy cow! 

It was a short conversation on my end, hard not to just gush about my two kids and how they are hilarious and so spunky and smart and beautiful all at the same time. Like I’m sure you want to see the three minute video of Lincoln dancing in circles or the one where Isabelle calls her dog “spot” but pronounces it exactly like “fart.”

I went to the temple last week by myself. Sometimes you just need to put the “mom” thing on pause for a second, you know? Anyway, while I was there I ran into a family who was there preparing their son to be married. The grooms whole family was there- plus the bride and her extended family… it was a big day for them. There was one super tender moment when the son grabbed his mom’s hand and squeezed it without saying a word. For just a second that was me, and that was Lincoln, and he was a big grown man and I was a mother preparing to give away my son. And of course I lost it because I feel like this time will go so quickly. 

Because really, having babies is kind of cruel. You grow them and you are sick and tired and fat and you go through a painful delivery and recovery, you get a matter of months of teeny baby time. A year- maximum- before they are toddlers. Just when you get used to them, they change. They get big and they won’t cuddle you are they don’t want you to kiss their faces and squeeze their thighs. I can only imagine how they are when they are older and want you to drop them off around the corner from the movie theater. (Yeah right, our kids aren’t going to the movie theater without us. ever.) 

The writers of modern family summed it up pretty well– “Raising a kid is like sending a rocket ship to the moon. You spend the early years in constant contact and then one day, around the teenage years, they go around the dark side and they’re gone. All you can do is wait for that faint signal that says they’re coming back.” It just seems so heartbreaking.

We talk a lot about how we can keep our kids smart and focused and doing good things without caving to the gross wordly things that are becoming so common. I saw an article this week about some radio and tv networks that are lobbying to drop the ban on some very specific swearwords during regular programming. Just casually going to drop them in there to see if its okay. It isn’t okay! I couldn’t even watch the news the other morning because they kept advertising the new “Hannibal” show and I couldn’t fast forward fast enough.   

ANYWAY. Most random post ever. 

I guess I’m totally okay that my most exciting news is that Lincoln said the word “yeah” and Isabelle is sporting a bright pink cast.

My kids are so special, and so worth it. And I’m so thankful for this season.