A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about how we were having a difficult time with Isabelle sleeping at night, napping during the day, and just being fussy in general. I ended up not publishing it because it was whiney and complainey and comical and I think I wrote it mostly for my own therapy.
But that was a few weeks ago. And now it’s not really that funny anymore. Since then it has only gotten progressively worse and I’m starting to run out of ideas. I think she is hard core teething, which is contributing to this whole thing, and I know this transitional homelessness doesn’t help, but it’s like sometimes it seems like her tummy just hurts her and I hate that I can’t help very much. I’m a fixer, you know? I like to fix things and usually I can figure it out and make it work better.
I never thought I would say this, but I feel more tired now than I did when she was a newborn. Sometimes she wakes up 5 or 6 times at night and it just isn’t conducive to any sort of REM sleep cycle. I know I’m not functioning as I normally would, and I definitely don’t LOOK as I normally would. Bless Jazz for still loving me.
After witnessing some of my frustration this weekend, my good friend reminded me that this too shall pass. I know it will. I know the day will come when I will miss this stage of Izzie’s little life and wish with all of my might to revisit it for a minute so I can nibble her baby thighs and kiss her soft cheeks. I know there are lots of mothers out there who don’t have help like I do, who don’t have healthy babies, or can’t afford financially to stay at home. I recognize that this is a privilege, and I embrace it as my calling on this earth. It is a full time job and I love being a mother- but like any job, sometimes it’s just hard. Usually, after a good cry and some time on my knees pleading for guidance, I feel better.
Anyway, I am hoping that after we move and get settled, we will be able to help Isabelle sleep better during the night so she is happier during the day. Until then, I’ll be wearing my sweatpants and uggs pretty much all day long.
Of course, I am more than open to suggestions. Things we have tried so far: mylicon drops, baby tylenol, baby orajel, sensitive formula, nutrimagen, every pacifier ever manufactured, feeding her more, feeding her less, feeding her solids, feeding her cereal, letting her cry, swaddling and rocking her, having a schedule, having many short naps, having a few long naps, playing her music, various other song and dance routines. You get the idea.