got milk.

This might be borderline inappropriate for our family blog, but I did some consultations and we all agreed that it would be okay. Sorry mom if this crosses the line. Also, I apologize for the blog title, I couldn’t resist.

When Isabelle was born, we met with a lactation consultant a few times before we left the hospital. By the time we got home, we were really getting the hang of the whole nursing thing. Isabelle was gaining weight, eating like a champ, sleeping well, it was great. And so it continued for 2 1/2 months. She would nurse in the car, at church, friends houses, in the mothers room at Nordstoms-you name it, she could nurse there. It was wonderful! So portable and convenient, I was really enjoying our special bond.

About two weeks ago, Isabelle put up a tiny picket sign and went on strike. She screams and cries every time I go to position her. I’ve tried several different positions, latches, tricks, and nothing is helping. Its like she has totally forgotten how to eat. I am trying SO HARD (!!) not to be frustrated, but its not easy. It is totally consuming my entire life. We try to nurse, she screams and fights with her tiny baby fists. So, I pump my milk and feed her via bottle. But this is a vicious cycle, as she now prefers the faster flow of the bottle. I can’t keep up pumping since it is not as efficient as a nursing baby, and as a result my supply is decreasing.

Honestly, I’m crushed. I have these immense feelings of guilt, like I am totally failing at this important job. I know its not completely my fault, there are other factors contributing to this situation, but it makes me FEEL like its all my fault. I’m not giving up yet- we are still trying every 3 hours to nurse, some attempts are more successful than others, and I have a call in to a local lactation consultant. Four months is a great start for Isabelle, I should really be proud that we have made it this far, but I can’t help but be devastated thinking this part of our relationship is prematurely over.

On the bright side, Isabelle is so sweet and adorable, she gets cuter everyday. Today she rolled over about five times. I hate to brag, but I’m pretty sure she is a genius baby, no big deal. We are still working on rolling BACK to her back, she gets kind of stuck on her tummy. Also, she is sporting a baby mullet. She has this tiny fluff patch growing in the back, but not much else. How can something this small and this cute cause so much fuss?!

8 thoughts on “got milk.

  1. You've done a good job mom!!! Don't stress about it. I understand the bond that nursing your baby can have. My baby is 6 (holy crap!!!) and there are still days when I miss that quiet cuddly time in the middle of the night. They quit when they want to & you will find many other ways to bond with her in the years to come!

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  2. Micci-Don't fret! Nursing is such a complex thing that runs its course. Emma never latched on without a nipple shield, Claire was a champ but I was finished by 5 months and the boys never had the chance as I was pumping round the clock from day one. If you still want give her your milk without nursing, try renting a hospital grade pump. THey are soooo effecient and will keep you supply up as much as you want and take about 10/15 min total to pump. Just a thought! Good luck either way you go. Just think. This is her first way of telling you that she has a mind of her own. It never stops!:) Good luck!!!

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  3. Oh Micci, I have been there. And I know exactly thew guilt you are talking about. Will, my first, absolutely refused to nurse even though we saw lactation specialists, etc. all the time. THey just said there is nothing wrong with me, nothing wrong with him, he just didn't want to do it. So, I pumped for 4 months, and then switched to formula. It was a very, very hard decision to make and it took me a while to be somewhat okay with it. But pumping and feeling like a failure at nursing was getting to be too much for me to handle that I felt like I wasn't the mom I needed to be. After I finally got over the guilt of doing formula, life was amazing from that point on. But it's such a hard decision to make, I know. Keep trying though, but know that if you do end up making the switch that you have given Isabelle a wonderful, wonderful start! Good luck. 🙂

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  4. Hello! I know we've never met, but I'm a high school friend of Jazz's – and I stalk your blog 😉 Anyways. I have a 2 year old and we had A LOT of trouble nursing at first. I found that there are an immense amount of support groups out there to help nursing moms. Check out LLLI for a meeting in your area. They have experienced moms as well as lactation consultants. Meeting with a lactation consultant will be a big help as well. I never went through a strike, but from what I understand they are very common and can be due to many different factors, none of which are your fault! I think four months is great, but if you want to nurse for longer you definiately can. There are lots of moms out there that have experienced the same things and have gotten their little one back to nursing. And I think this topic is totally appropriate here, the more support you can get, the better off you will be! Good Luck!

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  5. Call Susan Spencer from Shasta County Public Health. She's a Lactation Specialist and is WONDERFUL (and she's free because it's a county office)!! (Actually everyone in her office is great!) If I remember correctly, her office is in the downtown mall. Keep up the effort and GOOD LUCK!

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  6. I have no kids. I have no lactaction advice. All I have is a little cute neice who I'm super proud of for rolling over!!! And… a best friend who I just love! 🙂

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  7. Nursing issues are the WORST. Seems like you've gotten a lot of great advice, though, so I'll just say, “Go Team Sorensen!”

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  8. Don't feel bad. I can't nurse, never really could to begin with. I know how you feel about the guilt, but your baby will be fine and continue to thrive.

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