1. People will stare. They are not afraid to make eye contact with you and give you a half smile of pity like, “Sweet heavens above, I hope you go into labor soon because you are huge and miserable and should be on a table pushing right this minute.”
2. People will stare part two. In a rude way, like “why on earth do you subject yourself to public display. Have some common courtesy and stay home locked inside.”
3. People will be helpful. They will open doors, let you cross the street, carry groceries to your car. I appreciate this immensely. Even if they are just a little bit creepy.
4. People will tell you crazy things. Like the strange woman who told me I must be having a boy because I was carrying so low. Actually, lady, its a female baby and I have a long torso. But, good call.
5. People will give you unsolicited and unwanted advice concerning hospital/delivering/names/feeding/sleeping/schedules/outfits/money/future colleges. Usually I just smile and tell them thank you for caring enough to tell me something so important. Sike.
6. People will say careless things. Like, “Wow you must be due any day now!” or “What, a few weeks left?” Nope, sorry, not due for another five weeks. A salesperson in Bath and Body today told me that her friend was having twins and I don’t look nearly as big as her. Um….I’m only having one baby, so thankssss.
7. People will say careless things part two. I have had at least ten people tell me “Man, that wasn’t very smart planning- you have to be big and pregnant the entire hot summer!” Yes, I am aware of this, thank you. It is summer. It is hot. I am big. Obviously there isn’t a lot I can do about it at this point. No “edit undo” option.
8. People will tell you horrifying labor stories. About a failed induction or a faulty epidural or a c-section after 250 hours of active labor. Horrifying. I do not need to know if your cousin’s friend’s brother’s wife could not walk for two weeks.
9. People honestly mean well. Despite their human foibles, they really do mean well.