I’m not sure why they call it Black Friday- I think it should be called GOLDEN FRIDAY OF PURE JOY.
My alarm went off this morning at 4:00. I’m not a morning person, and thats kind of an understatement. I’m not even really an afternoon person either. When Jazz heard my alarm, he rolled over and very sleepily said, “HAHA. I’m going to stay nice and warm and take up all the bed now.” And then promptly went back to sleep.
After a shower and a quick application of mascara, Beyonce and I headed to Macys with a glass of orange juice. We arrived about a quarter to five, pulled up to see a small collection of people congregating at the front doors. As I waited for the last few minutes to tick away, I looked at who I was waiting with. I mean, these were my people. My bosom buddies. I felt strangely chatty and wanted to know what everyone was here for. Wait, what was I here for? I don’t really even know.
Macys was spectacular. I was greeted with a bag of craisins (Ew) and a cranenergy drink (double ew) but I appreciated the gesture. After I found my super awesome bargains and purchased them using my super awesome 20% off coupons, I departed for store #2.
I was expecting a large rush at Macys– a hoard of pushing, shoving, mob-like people ready to fight for their khaki pants and argyle sweaters. But people were friendly, orderly and polite. When I arrived at Taipan at 6:15, there were women in Victoria’s Secret sweatpants lined up around the building. Me and Beyonce decided to wait in the warm car. I know where everything is in Taipan, I totally had a plan of action, plus a secret weapon: The Mailer Coupon. 10% off entire purchase, and 20% off ornaments. Suckas.
The doors were unlocked, pandemonium ensued. People had been waiting in their cars and came to freely join the line. And by freely join, I mean CUT. It was like fifth grade four square all over again.
“HEY! HEY! We have been WAITING here! You can’t just GO IN!” I politely waited until the whole line had entered the building and were milling about like crazies before I headed in to attack. Never tell a bunch of Mormon women that there is a sale on chotchskies and all things Christmassy. Free Santa Cookie Jar? CHAOS!
A few more stops, a lot more purchases. I hit the fashion place mall. They had some special displays going on- like Xbox and Wii. Who’s idea was it to place these in the middle of heavy traffic areas? I am sorry if I nailed you with my swinging Bath and Body bags, but you were STOPPED in the MIDDLE of the WALKWAY.
No time for bathroom breaks. Just push on.
Target at ten. Nothing is better than Target. Bed, Bath and Beyond. Costco. (whoa)
Home by noon. Not going to lie- this day ranks in my top ten of the year. I had so much fun fighting the crowds, cutting coupons, and comparing prices. I know I won’t always have the freedom of leaving the house at 4 am and shopping for 8 hours, only to return home for some cheese ball and a nap. Will I go next year? Probably. Maybe? I don’t know. We’ll see. But for this year, my Christmas shopping is bippity, boppity, done.