The one where we didn’t move.

Remember how we were supposed to move this weekend?

And I packed up our whole house?

Every pot? Every pan? Every dish and every spoon?

(Here is where it gets trixy)

We didn’t move.

Thursday afternoon we had an appointment to get the carpet cleaned at our new house. Isabelle had a doctor appointment at the same time, so my mom went over to let the carpet dude in. Turns out, our carpet at the new house is totally and completely ruined. You can just tell when you walk in that there has been some sort of canine business going on allllll over the place. Apparently the sellers cleaned the carpet before they moved, causing the liquid pet odor to resurface. And they left the heater on high. So, basically we walked into a Pee Oven.

Carpet dude said we have two options. 1) Try to treat the whole area and hope it goes away. 2) Totally replace the carpets and seal the slab. He volunteered to come back at night with a black light flashlight to show us the extent of the damage. We met him there around 8 and you guys- seriously, it was WAY WORSE THAN WE EVER THOUGHT. It looked like 5-inch polka dots throughout the entire house, I kid you not. You would never, ever be able to tell how bad it really was with just your naked eye, the black light picks it up so much better.

So. There we are. On the eve of our move. Staring at carpet that has to come out. The sellers have agreed to pay for 75% of the carpet expense, although they were not happy about it at all. I’m sure they had no idea what their two little doggies had really done when they weren’t looking. Sneaky dogs.

Shopping for carpet has only confirmed my post-pregnancy inability to make decisions. They have polyester, nylon, fluffy, non-fluffy, Berber, soft, thick, twisty, patterned, monotone and every color of the rainbow. Did you know that you have to RAKE some carpets? Like leaves? After trying to choose just one carpet color, I have decided that I could never build a house. It would take centuries.

The problem with buying new carpet is that it has to be ordered from carpet heaven. It comes either from LA in 3-4 days or from Georgia in 7-10 days. Please recall that we thought we were moving Friday, so any extra days mean we are basically homeless. We have to be out of our apartment by Thursday, and there really is no way our new carpet will be installed by then. Faced with the prospect of taking shelter under an overpass and living off of Pirate’s Booty and Protein shakes, my mom and dad have offered to let us stay with them at a very cheap rate of 3 Isabelle Cheek Nibbles per day. Totally fair.

I know you are thinking but how is your crazy brain doing with all of this. I think I am being calm? We have stuff everywhere now- a little left at our old apartment, a lot in our new garage, some in my bedroom here on El Vista Street. You all know how I feel about random stuff distribution, it drives me i-n-s-a-n-e. It was hard to know what we would need short term, since we didn’t know when we would actually be in our house. Outfits? Shoes? Church clothes? Maybe. I just don’t know. Throw a baby in the mix and all bets are off. It’s called ANXIETY.

The good news is that we get brand new carpet! That we like! For Isabelle to roll around on! That doesn’t smell like animal feces! Exclamation Point! We just have to wait a little bit for it to arrive. In the meantime, we have been cleaning and scrubbing, loading and unloading, packing and unpacking, you get the idea. It looks like the carpet will be installed a week from Wednesday, and I know it will be worth the wait.